How do you handle a friend who only reaches out when they need something?

Question

I have a friend who disappears for months and then appears the moment they need advice, money, or help with something. When things are going well for them I hear nothing. I feel used but I also feel guilty for feeling that way. How do I handle this dynamic?

alexander_white · Accepted Answer

Your instinct is correct. This is a transactional relationship not a genuine friendship. You are allowed to decide you don't want that. Setting limits or stepping back is not cruel, it's self-respect.

brooklyn_ward · Answer

Try being honest with them once: 'I notice we only really talk when one of us needs something. I'd like a more mutual friendship.' Their reaction will tell you whether this relationship has potential.

How do you handle a friend who only reaches out when they need something?

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How do you handle a friend who only reaches out when they need something?

2 answers Most votes Newest Oldest

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2 answers
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