How do you deal with a friend who constantly complains and never takes advice?

Question

I have a friend who vents about the same problems repeatedly, week after week, month after month. I listen, I offer suggestions, but nothing ever changes and they never take any advice. I am starting to feel like a therapist and it is draining. What do I do?

aurora_reed · Accepted Answer

Ask upfront what they need: 'Do you want to vent or do you want advice?' Some people just need to feel heard, not fixed. This also protects your energy by setting the frame of the conversation.

tyler_evans · Answer

It is okay to name what you are noticing: 'I care about you and I've noticed we keep coming back to this same issue. I'm finding it hard to keep giving advice that doesn't get used. What do you think would actually help?' It is honest and loving.

How do you deal with a friend who constantly complains and never takes advice?

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How do you deal with a friend who constantly complains and never takes advice?

2 answers Most votes Newest Oldest

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2 answers
Most votes Newest Oldest