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Why do some people repeat the same parenting mistakes their parents made?

I swore I would never parent the way my critical and cold father parented me. But lately I catch myself doing the exact same things with my own kids. I am horrified but also confused about why this is happening when I am so aware of it.
patterns parenting generational trauma childhood
A amelia_thomas 16 December 2025
5,061 views

2 answers
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Accepted Answer
18
Awareness is necessary but not sufficient to break the cycle. Our earliest experiences wire our default stress responses. When you are tired, overwhelmed, or triggered you revert to what was modeled for you because it's deeply embedded.
A adam_rogers 18 December 2025
16
The fact that you notice it and feel troubled by it means you are already breaking the cycle in an important way. Therapy, especially approaches like EMDR or inner child work, can help rewire those automatic responses.
T tristan_murphy 21 December 2025