Why do I always fall for people who are not available?

Question

I seem to only develop strong feelings for people who are either taken, emotionally unavailable, or clearly not looking for anything serious. When someone genuinely available and interested pursues me I feel nothing. Why do I only want what I cannot have?

oliver_thinks · Accepted Answer

Unavailability creates uncertainty and our brains find uncertainty exciting. It also protects you from real intimacy because if they are unavailable you can never fully be rejected. It's a defense mechanism.

xavier_cook · Answer

Sometimes people raised in emotionally unavailable households subconsciously recreate that dynamic because it feels familiar. Available love can feel boring or even suspicious if you are not used to it.

Why do I always fall for people who are not available?

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Why do I always fall for people who are not available?

2 answers Most votes Newest Oldest

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2 answers
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