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What is the psychology behind why we idealize people we barely know?

I have noticed that I can become completely infatuated with someone I have only met a few times and build an entire image of who they are in my head. Then when I actually get to know them they are always different from what I imagined. Why do we do this?
attraction psychology idealization projection
R riley_hall 18 December 2025
2,286 views

2 answers
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Accepted Answer
15
We fill in the blanks of what we do not know about someone with what we want to be true. The fewer facts we have the more room our imagination has to project our ideal person onto them. It is not about them at all, it is about our desires.
M marcus_real 21 December 2025
25
Idealization also serves a purpose. Hope and excitement about a new person is motivating. Our brains generate dopamine around potential rewards. The idealization is partly the brain's way of energizing pursuit.
J jacob_robinson 20 December 2025